Where am I going

Hi Lovelies,

Just bear with me on this.

I started this blog as a means of becoming accountable for my weight loss, almost as a way of keeping me on track with my progress.

Through the past few years, this blog has been a constant and although I haven’t always posted on a regular basis in recent times, it has always been there at the back of my mind as a measuring tool and reminder.

As this point in my healthy journey, there are no real goals to get to and no all-important stone bracket to fall into; mainly because I’m not looking at it that way anymore.

When I started this journey, it was to lose weight and get fitter, but that term ‘lose weight’ is now a difficult one for me. I don’t get on the scales anymore mainly because I never liked the fact that they could either make or break my day and my emotions were so tied to that little (or big) number staring back at me.

Now I just try to see it as a whole and live healthier overall, with a more balanced lifestyle. But that means the measurable goal kinda goes out the window. I don’t want a goal weight, I don’t have a goal body shape and I don’t have a goal fitness to get to, which makes this whole process a lot harder.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this but I guess I just want to get it all out there to help me understand it.

Here’s what I know for definite:

  1. I’m still trying to eat healthy and enjoy cooking
  2. I’m still trying to build my fitness and enjoy challenging myself
  3. I love feeling healthier and lighter and it has changed my life

So those are all really good things.

But I suppose this blog was never designed to capture the end of my journey, of course, my journey will never be over, as its a constant process I have to work at every day. But for me, because of that, it makes it hard to know what path to go down when writing my posts.

So I’ve decided to try and stress less about what you might want to read, and just write about what I want, whether its interesting or not. (sorry haha)

At the end of the day, this is my blog and writing it makes me feel good. Knowing this is my corner of the internet makes me feel better and puts a warm blanket around me to tell me that everything’s going to be ok.

So, this year, I am going to focus more on what’s best for me instead of pandering to other people, which I’m sure you lovelies would want me to do anyway. There’s no point in doing anything if its not what you really want to do.

So here goes!

Off to the gym later for a good sweat!

Speak soon lovelies! xx

 

Weight Loss Changes

I thought I would write this post as it compliments another recent post about things I thought would have changed/improved with weight loss but haven’t. So here is my list of things that have changed!

1. None of my fat clothes fit anymore. This is an obvious one but I think its surprised me because I don’t know if I ever really believed I would lose as much as I have., I am now left with a wardrobe FULL of clothes that are absolutely massive. I am shocked by how big they are compared to my frame now.This is good but also sucks as I’m too poor to buy a whole new wardrobe!So looks like belts are my new best friend to pull in my big clothes for now.

befunky_fullsizerender1

2. My face has changed so much. I know these are changes you would expect with big weight loss but unless it happens to you, I think it’s hard to understand what its like looking back at a new face when for 24 years of your life, a chunky, triple-chinned face has stared back at you.

11070223_10153153181555070_3790798041942066052_n

3. I feel more confident in myself. I will never be a full on, ‘yeah look at me, look how fantastic I look’ kind of person because that’s just not me. I remind myself how far I’ve come and that’s good but its important to remember how far I still have to go. I am still classed as Obese class 2 but I feel a lot fitter now and being able to go places without breaking a sweat is such a massive thing for me.

4. I get, ‘wow you look so skinny’, ‘look at skinny minny’ and even ‘hi there Alicia Keys’ on a frequent basis. That’s because I don’t go out often so when I see family or friends, its been a while since they last saw me and because they’re so used to seeing big Tasha, it must come as a shock to them. However, I still feel weird about receiving compliments and am not sure how to take them when people are just stood staring at me.It makes me uncomfortable haha.

5. As sloppy/too much info as this sounds, I fit better when chilling with Lee on the sofa or just asleep in bed. I mean I don’t feel like a big blob in his arms anymore, that’s what I’m trying to get across. I feel like the little spoon! I have always been around 2 stone heavier than Lee so this really is a big change for me and it’s weird getting used to being the smaller of the two.

6. I have a better relationship with food. Although I still love food, it is no longer the be all and end all. When I have a good weight loss or good week of food and exercise, now I treat myself with clothes or makeup instead of a big cake or binge on junk food. So I am trying to stop rewarding myself or comforting myself with food as this has always been my issue.

7. I am cold ALL THE TIME! I seem to have developed some sort of permanent freezing extremities and it is not fun.I used to love the winter because I could wrap up warm but now I want the Summer to hurry up because I am constantly cold and it’s horrible. I thought I would’ve avoided this because I have lost the weight slowly but my fingers in particular go blue sometimes when before they would be fine. So now I have to invest in hand cream as I suffer from dry sensitive skin. Not the best change with weight loss!

8. I feel prettier in my face. This is similar to the confidence point but when I was younger, people always told me, I have such a pretty face and my eyes really stand out. Then I got bigger and my facial features faded into this mess of chub. I’ve always been chubby but now my features seem to have re-appeared and I love it. To avoid sounding big-headed, I really do love my eyes and my smile and now the fat is melting away, I can see them and it makes me so proud of how far I’ve come (I’m tearing up now!) For a long time, I felt horrible. But now I am feeling more like myself than ever before and it’s a wonderful feeling.

FullSizeRender

9. I can finally shop in the ‘normal’ size section in shops. Although I disagree with plus size having it’s own section, it does feel good to be able to shop in the majority of a store and not just one dark corner segregated from everything else. I can now shop is most high street stores/websites like H & M, Boohoo,ASOS,etc.

10. My fashion sense seems to be improving, probably because of number 9. In plus size clothing shops like Evans or Inspire at New Look, they seem to think fat women don’t care what they look like and just want to cover up. Shock Horror!There are bigger women who want to show off their figures and there’s nothing worse than being typecast into a certain style because of your weight. I am more confident, so am picking out more skater skirts than I used to and choosing certain items that I would’ve never worn previous to weight loss. I could look a total idiot but to me, I look better in the clothes I have now than I did before.

So that’s rounded off to a nice top 10! Sorry for the length of this post and well done if you got to the end of it without switching off. I’m sure there will be other changes that come with more weight loss, but for now, this is good enough for me. I can see the difference in myself both physically and mentally; I feel the most comfortable I have ever been with myself and that is a great feeling.

Hope you all have a fantastic Friday and a wonderful weekend. Plus size Fashion Posts coming SOON!

SIMW

xx